Change . . .

is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.  Robin Sharma

 

"Strength!  Courage!       Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take." Joshua 1:9

 

My life has certainly seen it’s fair amount of changes ~ sometimes I think more than its fair share.  As a little girl, I remember wanting to just stay put.  Being the daughter of an army officer lent itself to many moves ~ try three different schools in second grade in two different countries.  The truth is although I was shy and feared the thought of not making new friends in new places, I always felt safe because my parents were my constant.

Beginning five years ago my life underwent enormous change; the demise of a 23-year marriage, a whirlwind courtship, re-marriage, a move to another state, becoming a step-mom and my daughters leaving the nest.  Unplanned circumstances in a life that likes to plan and organize to the smallest detail.  In the midst of all the external changes; the heartbreak and grief of letting go of a long-fought battle, the questions asked through floods of tears at why my prayers were answered so differently than I had envisioned, the wonderment at being given the gift of true love and feeling like everything in life is a dream from which I could awake at any moment.  To say that life felt surreal is an understatement.

Fast forward to the present; leaving behind sons I have grown to love, leaving a job I enjoyed immensely, saying goodbye to new friends made and leaving a home I cherished.  I was painting rooms, painting cabinets and replacing carpet in my home for someone else.  I was purging and packing with the knowledge that many of these things would go in storage for the undetermined future and I wouldn’t see them for a while.  I seemed to suffer a temporary packing paralysis.  Thank God for my husband or it may not have gotten done.

The unknown and what the future holds has never been the worry for me.  My struggle with change has been letting go of what I’ve had in the past and at this present moment.  Loss of friendships, loss of my work identity, loss of my little corner of the world.  But what God has taught me is that these are not losses, these are seasons through which we pass to grow into the next.  Some things turn out exactly as planned, some things go terribly wrong, most of the time we end up not where we expected but someplace much better.

Sometimes change happens because we make a decision and follow through.  Sometimes change happens to us due to external forces over which we have no control and we have to navigate the ride.  Whatever the reasons or however scary, change can invigorate, revitalize and transform us if we let it.

Of one thing I am certain.  Certain with every fiber of my being because my life has been a collection of countless examples of this truth ~ I am certain of God’s love, certain of His faithfulness, certain that no matter what the trials and tribulations, God has my back, certain that although He may not answer prayers in the way I am expecting, He will answer them in ways I could never fathom.  He has been, is now, and always will be my constant.

Do you have a story of change that might encourage another?